2018
01.01

When someone asks me: “Pao, after the disasters that were 2016 and 2017, how did you go into 2018?” I’m going to answer: “Exhausted and unprepared, but frying plaice for dinner for my beloved partners.”

I don’t have many hopes for the coming year, but I would like for this year to have more art in it than the last.  I do hope I get to develop new medic skills and learn more medical things, and I hope I will have very little use for them.  I hope the new year will be kind to my friends and the rest of the world, but it feels like a hollow hope.  And, as always, I’d rather not hope for too much and be disappointed than I’d rather have very few hopes and instead be pleasantly surprised when good things actually happen.

But after two years that have been absolute disasters in so many ways (although I’ll be the first to admit some really good things happened to me during both – to my pleasant surprise), maybe the best way to go into the new year is like that: making something small but nice for those we love?  Not necessarily big celebrations, not necessarily by hoping for or promising too much, but by making a nice meal to be enjoyed together in spite of every terrible thing that has happened?

To feel some pride and satisfaction that despite it all, we’re still here, and we can still love.
And as long as we still care about one another, as long as we can still love and be loved…

… there is hope, and a chance that life will pleasantly surprise us in unexpected ways.

* * *

This song is still very important to me, and my tradition for the last fourteen years or so has been to listen to it once every New Year’s Eve, but this year I just feel so tired of everything.  Our doomsday has lingered over our heads for too long already.  However, I realised that I haven’t translated this song in many, many years, so instead of listening to it this year I decided to translate it again.  It’s not an entirely literal translation, because languages are different and I tried to get the translation to flow better than a literal one, but it’s as close as I can get.

Here’s my 2017/2018 translation of the song ‘Nyårshambo’ by the Swedish band Big Fish.

 

And the night is wild, and the day is difficult
and there is nothing in between them
Anxiety for tomorrow, shame from yesterday
and Satan shovels coal in the cellar
The big things are all ruined, all the nice things are so small
soon not even that little will remain
The face is ashen, the conscience ragged
and every day is like the last day we have left

It seems like it’s become New Year’s again
a new year has come to an end yet again
and that which has happened can never happen again
now the new times shall begin
It seems like it’s become New Year’s again
a big part of our lives has passed, one two three
and we shall also fade away, one two three
then there will be no time left to mourn
I want to go to heaven, but I don’t want to die
so I remain in hell instead
I set out to find a beautiful lady
and wait for the big explosion
Because nothing can live on the Earth the way it turns
she and I we both understand that
Fireworks light up the skies and everyone cheers
now our doomsday begins
It seems like it’s become New Year’s again
a new year has come to an end yet again
and that which has happened can never happen again
now the new times shall begin
It seems like it’s become New Year’s again
a big part of our lives has passed, one two three
and we shall also fade away, one two three
then there will be no time left to mourn

 

/pao – 02.24 – 1 jan 2018