But oh, my heart was flawed: I knew my weakness
so hold my hand: consign me not to darkness.
Broken Crown – Mumford and Sons

What do I even say?  How can I sum up the entire lifetime that has elapsed in this last month?  All the things I’ve learnt, all the things I’ve discovered about myself and the world?  All the things I’ve seen, and heard, and will always remember?

There is no way to, no matter how much I would like to.  There are no words to describe it.  And there is no time to do so.

But I feel safe, and I feel happy, and I think things will be okay.  I will treasure all these gifts I’ve been given.  And I will treasure this poor, complicated creature that I am, and I will learn more.  I know who I am again, and I quite like this pao that I am.  No part of me invalidate the other parts of me, and a pao can wear as many hats as they want and need to.

I know my weakness, know my voice,
and I’ll believe in grace and choice!
And I know perhaps my heart is farce,
but I’ll be born without a mask.
Babel – Mumford and Sons

I am happy here in this new place where I find myself.  It’s all I need right now.  Knowing that I can be a whole pao, and I don’t have to lose or give up parts of myself in order to be able or allowed to gain new parts and tools.

I have good company on this path I’m walking down.  Not someone else’s path, but still with company.
And I’m so excited to see where it will lead me.

/pao – 7 apr 2017 – 15.14

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