2015
09.02

I’ll put some tweets from this morning up here on my blog as well, for future reference.  Because things on twitter passes by too quickly to be very useful to look back on.  I’ll make them more into paragraphs and put them in italics.

Trying to wake up.  My ribs hurt when I breathe, and the pain in my side is worse.  Oh, and headache and nausea.  Guess I’ll get used to this too, eventually.  Mornings are getting worse.  More and more difficult to get up.  More and more pain and nausea to overcome.

The headache is the most worrying to me.  I can generally deal with unspeakable levels of physical pain, but can’t deal well with [headaches].  I need to figure out a way to deal with all of this.  Just sitting up to take my meds made me almost throw up.  Pretty sure this is not something people in general have to deal with.

Know what?  I’ll start ranting about my pain and things like that on my blog.  Because ranting helps, but twitter’s not the right place.  Won’t hesitate to rant here either, but I think my blog can help too.  It’s more steadfast in the crashing rivers of time.  Notes and rants here on twitter is mostly gone without a trace three days later.  The passing of time is felt honestly in the tweetfeeds.  And in the middle of the great chaos my life currently is, I will need stability.  Less ephemeral ghosts, more sturdy hugs.

But with shabbat and hung gar and my blog, I might find enough stability and routine to keep me grounded.  Safe places to hide and rest.

For me who is a creature of patterns, getting lost in the patterns of hung gar is just as easy as getting lost in the patterns of grammar.  I know I told myself I wouldn’t hung gar if I had to take painmeds, but it’s gone pretty well thus far so that rule made no sense.  As long as I focus and try to be careful, I think things will go all right.  So, I’ll attempt hung gar today as well, if I get well enough to leave my lair at all.  Although no one at the hung gar seems to believe I’m just too lazy or that I’m just skipping out on them for fun when I don’t appear.  Which is great, because it’s true, but I really wonder where all their understanding comes from.

Last night I also made another attempt to return to 100Words, and I have found some places on Twitter with people who do creative writing with prompts and topics and stuff.  I hope I will be able to join that fun too.  Together with Nanowrimo, this should be enough creative writing outlets for when I can and feel like writing but can’t think of anything small.  I need more confined spaces to fill.

/pao – 2 sept 2015 – 14.54

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