Except for being useful when deadlines are approaching too swiftly and there is too little time in an ordinary day, there is one thing I really like about my insomnia; I get to see so many wonderful dawns and sunrises. No matter how terrible I am feeling, it always cheers me up. Not in a laughingly happy way, but in a calm, relaxing way. A pleasant way. I made it through the night, and light is returning again; first lightening up the dark blue of sky and then colouring the horizon. The light green, yellow, orange. Red clouds. It always makes things better.
No matter how much I curse the insomnia when I sit there in the darkness longing for sleep, no matter how much I know I should sleep… it all just melts away in the beauty of the dawn.
Sunsets aren’t the same. I don’t know why. There is something different in the colours and feelings about a sunrise. Especially in the summers, when no one is awake at dawn except for the birds. At least the birds are the only ones making sounds…
And afterwards, when I have enjoyed watching the day return, I can usually sleep better. I sleep better during the day. Feeling safe, knowing that if I were to die in my sleep, at least I wouldn’t die surrounded by darkness…
And from the third (and last) photoshoot for this morning;
Now I should try to sleep. I am supposed to meet an abban later. At five or something. It will be interesting.
/pao – 08 jan 2011 – 08.28