2011
01.11

(benefit of insomnia)

Except for being useful when deadlines are approaching too swiftly and there is too little time in an ordinary day, there is one thing I really like about my insomnia; I get to see so many wonderful dawns and sunrises.  No matter how terrible I am feeling, it always cheers me up.   Not in a laughingly happy way,  but in a calm, relaxing way.  A pleasant way.  I made it through the night, and light is returning again;  first lightening up the dark blue of sky and then colouring the horizon.  The light green, yellow, orange.  Red clouds.  It always makes things better.

No matter how much I curse the insomnia when I sit there in the darkness longing for sleep, no matter how much I know I should sleep… it all just melts away in the beauty of the dawn.

Sunsets aren’t the same.  I don’t know why.  There is something different in the colours and feelings about a sunrise.  Especially in the summers, when no one is awake at dawn except for the birds.  At least the birds are the only ones making sounds…

And afterwards, when I have enjoyed watching the day return, I can usually sleep better.  I sleep better during the day.  Feeling safe, knowing that if I were to die in my sleep, at least I wouldn’t die surrounded by darkness…

And from the third (and last) photoshoot for this morning;

Now I should try to sleep.  I am supposed to meet an abban later.  At five or something.   It will be interesting.

/pao – 08 jan 2011 – 08.28