2010
02.05

(new rat)

today I got a new rat.. a big, twitchy male rat, who doesn’t like to be held or picked up.. I named him Kadana.. there’s also another rat here at the moment, a female rat with a wound, that I will take care of while her human is in another country over the weekend…

today I actually worked a little with languages.. mostly Latin.. it was very nice…

I worry a lot over my male, but I have no idea how to help him.. I really hope he would come to me and/or tell me if there was something I could do…
I miss him a lot, but I have almost no energy to eat, I don’t get enough liquid.. I can’t visit him… it makes me sad and worried.. but I hope he remembers that he is very loved and very important for a Pao…

*

other than that, I still try to plan for my trip to England.. I don’t count on getting out of this alive.. I don’t trust in aeroplanes.. not even sure if I believe in their existence…

*

besides all that, I really need food..

*

also, I wish my friends could be magically happy and have good lives all of a sudden…

*

Here, since I have nothing interesting to say, have the two last parts of a recent poem I wrote for a friend instead;

And she wears her scars proudly
saying “It’s only pain, it will pass”
and “They remind me of lessons and
things that should never be forgotten”

The scars tell their stories
and whisper in her ears
and she knows deep inside
that most of them could have been avoided
if she would have sometimes accepted
the love and the help of her friends
but she would rather take the fall
all alone and keep the scars
than to call out and reach
for a hand that wasn’t
there for her…

*

Nightycat.

/pao – 05 feb 2010 – 03.57
morrh narhile, marrah imaile

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