2009
11.10

(trains)

(written 7 sep 2009 15.14.. this is a reference to and an evolved thought from even further back, going home with a friend on a train.. an evolution and a shard of a thought…)

We are all strangers on this train. We all share this darkness in the window, we share this journey. Everyone is looking around without seeing. The young woman in front of me fidgets with her hair. We are all sharing this silence. We are still in the silence, even though we are talking. We are all thinking. I sit there with them. With my hopes and dreams, nightmares and fears. With all my pain.
(I bet you feel pain too.)

I am just like them, even if I’m not. I’m not like them, though still one of them. They excluded me early on, and I could never find my way back.

But we are all strangers on this train. We share the background noises. They, me, us, we. We are all being people. We are all thinking.
We are all being. We are all going somewhere through the night. Home? To friends and family? To work? Away? Perhaps in circles, around and around?
Perhaps nowhere.

Out there in the pale light, in the white light, in the orange light that man made lies the broken metal junk that man made. All the hopes and dreams that man made. All the things that man made to separate himself from nature. All the things man made to protect himself from nature. All the things that man took from nature and forgot where it came from.

Look out there. The light that man made, illuminating the big, concrete houses that man built. Hopes and dreams of a better life, away from the caves that man once found. But the apartments are still apart. Gaping holes in a wall of concrete. Gaping caves in a man-made mountain.
Cityline like the jagged line of a mountain range in the distance.

We are all strangers on this train. We are all strangers to each other. Most of us are perhaps even strangers to themselves.
We share this silence that man made. We share these background noises that man made.
For a moment we hide in the light together, hoping that this train will take us somewhere we want to be. For a moment we hide in the warm light from the darkness outside.

Then the train stops and we leave, all walking in our different directions, once again.

***

.

There was something else I meant to say, but it got lost.
I was sad, then I got happy, then I got sad again.

In other words, I am still alive.

/pao – 10 nov 09 – 05.06

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